Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
