I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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