Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Shame - the story of my life.
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