On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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