i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
