i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
