I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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