You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
