i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
