She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize