i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
