so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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