God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
