Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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