Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
