have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
