She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
There r osticjed everywhere
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
