Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
sex in a hospital.. check
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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