Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just had sex on a roof
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
