Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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