Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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