This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
