there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
