garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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