Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
