she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
