I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize