is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
