And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just so happy...and so naked.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize