On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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