I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
