I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
