We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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