am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
