Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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