wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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