He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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