we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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