is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
