So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
