so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
