Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Randomize
