I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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