Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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