I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
