Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
What a dumb baby whore.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
