I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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