well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
