it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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