this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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