I didn't shave. On purpose
I cannot find my penis.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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