You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
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I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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