I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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