so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
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Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
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He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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