So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
