I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
