What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You were trust falling into bushes
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
