Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize