He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
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I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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