I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
