I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
