The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
