forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
