Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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