I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
